Message From a Sadhu: Detach From Family to Avoid Sadness

Gardiner Harris for The New York Times Sadhus, or Hindu holy men, at the Shri Panchayati Mahanirvani Akhara, during the Kumbh Mela in Allahabad.

ALLAHABAD, Uttar Pradesh â€" Do your duty, but stop worrying so much about parents, wife and children.

That was the message of the 60-year-old Hindu mystic Maheshanand Giri from the Shri Panchayati Mahanirvani Akhara as he sat outside of a yellow and red tent set up on the vast grounds of the Kumbh Mela in Allahabad this weekend.

Attachments bring sadness, he said.

Gardiner Harris for The New York Times Hindu mystic Maheshanand Giri at the Kumbh Mela.

“Getting rid of attachments is the first step to salvation,” he said, sitting beside a small wood fire. “If your family is sick, if your father dies, then you will feel sadness.”

The mystics who come to the Kumbh are part of religious orders that were once mercenary armies that terrified parts of northern India centuries ago, according to William Pinch, a professor of history at Wesleyan University in Connecticut.

“They are the ghosts of armies past,” Dr. Pinch said in an interview. “And they were often employed as assassins.”

These armies often stole or bought children to fill their ranks, Dr. Pinch said. And the rituals of joining the orders usually! involved cutting all ties to family, he said.

“The rituals that they undergo when they join the order are a separation from caste society, which involves a social death,” Dr. Pinch said. “The order becomes your family.”

Ascetics are often thought by Westerners to be peace-loving monks, but Hindu sadhus generally revere Lord Shiva, who could lift mountains with one finger and was known to sever heads. At the Kumbh, the sadhus brandished ceremonial tridents, swords and spears. Some waved around baseball bats, and their celebrations during the procession to the Ganges were decidedly warlike.

But in his tent, Mr. Giri’s message to those who had little appetite for abandoning their family was to take a somewhat more detached view of loved ones.

“With your wife, you should stop having sex after you have your children,” he said. “And with your children, you should do your duty but draw a line in your attachment. If you are too attached, you will not be happy.”

He sad he was particularly angry about the proliferation of pornography through cell phones and the Internet. “The government should do something to stop this,” he said.

But a fondness for coffee is allowed, he said, even though some may call it an unhealthy addiction.

“Drinking coffee is your choice. It’s not an attachment,” he said. “It’s O.K. to drink coffee.”

Hari Kumar contributed reporting from Allahabad.