For International Students, College Checklists for March

This week, The Choice published our monthly Counselor’s Calendar, intended to keep students on track during the college admissions process.

We’ve asked Heather Keddie, the co-director of college guidance at The Archer School for Girls in Los Angeles, for this month’s admissions advice for juniors.

Christine L. Pluta, the director of college counseling at Lycée Français de New York, offers this month’s college checklist for seniors.

What follows are excerpts that are most relevant for international students. â€" Tanya Abrams

Juniors: College Checklist for March

This is the part of your college search thatdoes not have a lot of specific deadlines. It does, however, have a lot of things you need to do to stay on track and set yourself up for the best experience.

Set the Tone

It is in your power to foster a positive dynamic with your parents early in this process. This is a bittersweet time for them, trust me. You grew up much faster than they were expecting. Establishing expectations now will help when things (inevitably) get a little touchy between you and your parents.

I am a big fan of the once-a-week policy, in which you and your parents set a weekly time to talk about your college search and application process. During this time, your parents are allowed to bring up anything that is on their minds and ask as many questions as they want. The rest of the week, college talk is off limits, unless you raise the subject. This is particularly helpful if your parents â€" armed with college questions galore â€" already seem to pounce the second you walk through the front ! door.

Your parents want to help and they deserve to be included in your thinking. Still, you are the one who is getting ready to go off to college, so you need to take the lead.

Think Ahead About Letters of Recommendation

It may seem early but now is a good time to start thinking about which teachers you might ask for a letter of recommendation. Don’t worry. You do not need to ask anyone for a letter just yet but planning ahead can make asking a little easier.

Many colleges will ask for two letters from faculty members who have had you in their classrooms in 11th or 12th grade. Who should you ask One recommendation letter should come from a class that requires you to do a fair amount of writing. The other should showcase another aspect of your learning â€" like science, math or a foreign language.

Ask the teachers who saw you perform at your best. Which teachers have sparked your curiosity Which ones make you reconsider your own opinions Those are the people ou want writing for you.

Keep an Open Mind

Allow yourself to change your mind, even if you already have a set idea of where you plan to apply next fall.

If, in the course of researching colleges, you stumble upon a school that seems pretty much perfect but you have never heard of it, that’s O.K. It hasn’t heard of you, either.

You may find schools that resonate with who you are but do not match your plan. It is O.K. to change the plan.

In this phase, changing your mind and adjusting your criteria are not signs that you do not know what you want. Actually, they are indications that you are a flexible thinker with the confidence to trust your judgment.

Remember what Emerson said: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

Don’t Rush This Part

I think the anxiety and pressure students feel about college makes them want to skip ahead to the concrete stuff, to be done with all the reflection and rese! arch.

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Here’s the thing: Visiting schools, thinking about what kind of undergraduate experience you want, and starting to create a list That is the really fun part of applying to college.

I am sorry to tell you that there are very few times in your life when you get to choose where you want to live, the kind of people you want to spend time with, and the way you want to learn. You might as well make the most of the opportunity.

With all the hype and uncertainty surrounding applying to college, it is easy to approach the process from a place of fear. Fight that impulse. This process is about possibility. Enjoy this time and try to savor what a gift it is to be able to make choices like these. Have fun!

â€" Heather Keddie

Seniors: College Checklist for March

This is the month you’ve been waiting for. Most admission decisions will be released by the end of March, leaving all of April for you to make your choice.

Take a few deep breaths and contemplate what it will be like to receiv your decision notices. Make a plan for how, when and where you want to get and share the news, and think about how you will evaluate your offers.

Check Your Online Decisions Off Campus

If you are able to check your decisions online, consider getting the news outside of school, even though it’s hard to wait. At school you’re surrounded by other people who could be inadvertently just as affected by your admission decisions as you are. This is especially true if many of your classmates applied to the same colleges.

Choose to be in a private space with family or friends who will show you their support, no matter what the decision turns out to be.

Share Your Decisions (but Not With Everyone)

Your decisions are your own business. How much you want to share and with whom is up to you. Just be prepared with a snappy comeback to the inevitable question.

Do share your decisions with your counselor and all of those nice people who wrote ! recommend! ation letters for you. Feel free to remind them that you would like to keep the information private, if that’s the case.

If you are open with your decisions, please keep in mind that a little modesty goes a long way.

Take a Close Look at Your Financial Aid Letter

Not sure how to read your financial aid award Call the financial aid office at each college and ask a few questions. The goal is to determine just how much you are being offered in grants and loans, and how much more you will have to cover as a family â€" not just for next year, but for the next four years.

Ask if the grants are guaranteed for all four years. Calculate how much of a loan burden you will have to carry, how much your parents will be responsible for, and when you must start paying it off. Compare these awards very carefully and talk openly about your findings as a family.

If you have ny questions after speaking to the financial aid offices, talk to your counselor. Remember that if your financial situation has changed significantly since you filed your paperwork, you may request a re-evaluation.

Stay Focused

There is a lot to gain from ending the year with good grades, as you’ll be well prepared for final exams. Now is not the time to cheat, plagiarize or break the rules.

Remember that colleges have the right to pull their admission letters, and they do this regularly. Use your best judgment at all times.

Don’t Take It Personally

When I was an admissions officer at the University of Pennsylvania, we had to make the very tough decision to deny the child of an alumnus. The decision so angered the alumnus that he sent my boss, the dean of admissions, a well-w! orn Penn ! cap he had owned since he was an undergraduate. He also enclosed a note instructing the dean to “stick it” in a very inconvenient place.

Don’t be this guy. And I’m not just discouraging sending special packages to deans. Try not to take admissions decisions too personally.

My students sometimes receive disappointing news from colleges, and once in a while they come to me and ask, “What else could I have done Why didn’t they like me Wasn’t I good enough” My heart breaks when I hear these words.

Allow me to speak for all admissions officers when I say: Of course you’re good enough. You are unique and talented and tremendously deserving. We just have to make really tough decisions, knowing all the time that very accomplished, worthy, likable students like you will not get in.

Please don’t take our decisions personally. Enjoy exploring the colleges that accepted you. They are so lucky to have you. Focus on your next steps and don’t look back.

And with that, I ish all of you a lot of great news in the coming months. Don’t forget to stay focused, follow your plan, and ask for help along the way. Good luck!

â€" Christine L. Pluta

This post was prepared in consultation with the Association of College Counselors in Independent Schools, a membership organization.